(Written by Selina Garcia)
I have been wanting to share something close to my heart that took place during my pregnancy with Raeanne.
In July of 2019, I had a terrible dream that I miscarried our sweet baby girl. I understand that many mothers have similar fears, thoughts and dreams when they are pregnant, but this dream was much different. I have had my fair share of motherly fear and anxiety that surely is normal to pregnant mothers, and as the faithful Christian woman I was raised to be I have always given those emotions over to our Lord. I know that He is in control and He has always been faithful in giving me peace and comfort when these emotions begin to show themselves.
There was something different about this dream. For me, it wasn't normal for me to dream this vividly and have to deal with these overwhelming emotions when I woke up, emotions that ended up lasting for days. God knows that I began praying over baby Raeanne with such passion, intention, and ferver as if her life depended on it.
On that Sunday morning I awoke and began my normal Sunday morning routine, which meant getting the family ready for church, arriving early to prepare our worship set, and lead our congregation in worship to our Lord.
There was a sense of urgency, a sense of pain, and a sense of surrender that I experienced with each song that we sang. I remember singing out “This is How I Fight My Battles” and claiming life over my baby girl inside my womb. I pleaded with God to cover her with His protection and to give me His strength to take away my fear. In the middle of our service, I felt His peace flow over me and I began to proclaim life into our baby girl, but then something else began to happen.
I was brought to my knees and started to proclaim life into every heart and soul around me.
Weeks and months went by and this moment never left my mind or my heart. My experience with God brought me peace as my anxiety never returned.
After a long and hard pregnancy, it was time for our sweet baby girl to be born. I experienced a longer than anticipated labor and remember hearing our baby's heartbeat slow down. We immediately notified our nurses and they told me it was time for delivery.
Soon, she came out perfectly with a loud cry and... a knot in her umbilical cord. The birthing physician seemed shocked at how tight the knot was, and a doctor began to explain that a "true knot" increased the chances of fetal fatality by 400% and occurs in only 1 out of every 2,000 pregnancies (we did our research on this as well and decided to provide links to these statistics).
The doctor seemed shocked to see how tight it was and that there was a knot in it. After talking to our pediatrician and doing much research, we discovered that tight knots can have devastating results such as miscarriages and still born births.
Looking back, it's surreal to think about how vivid my dream was and how it led me to plead for my baby's life (even though I had been told I had a perfectly normal and healthy pregnancy). I am so grateful to have a God who takes care of me and that the Holy Spirit prompted me to speak life over her and to not be fearful.
It also got me thinking...
How many times do we ignore God when he is trying to get a hold of us? How often does God speak to us and we just don't listen? How many times are we on the brink of experiencing life changing moments, but we brush off his voice and go about our lives?
How many times are we caught in a spiritual battle and we don't even realize it?
"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." - Ephesians 6:12